


Aware

by myloveiamthespeedofsound



Series: Wherever I Go (I'll Be Looking For You) [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 19:18:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7001992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myloveiamthespeedofsound/pseuds/myloveiamthespeedofsound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve's thoughts during that I'm not leaving this rock with one civilian on it scene in AOU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aware

**Author's Note:**

> A little drabble inspired by @iavenge‘s awesome [gif set](http://iavenge.tumblr.com/post/139064470088/romanogers-week-day-2-%E7%89%A9%E3%81%AE%E5%93%80%E3%82%8C-the-bittersweetness).

He’d died once.  He’d pointed a plane into the Arctic and wished like hell there was any other option but the one he had.  He’d died alone, save for a voice on the radio that had cut out long before the water froze his lungs and and took him under.  He’d died crushed under the weight of the plane and the ice, and every breath he’d tried to take had betrayed him.  

He could remember it had been beautiful somehow.  The way the clouds parted as he drove the plane closer to the ground, the way the sunlight bounced off the water and the ice.  The expanse of white with little bits of blue water that dared to poke through.  

His first death had been cold.  It had been white and blue - everything ice and water and numbing.  

_Where else am I going to get a view like this?_

He looked over at her at the words.  Her eyes stared out over the clouds below them, the helicarrier rising up.   

Her eyes burned with the fire she held inside that he’d come to respect and admire - come to love really.  Determined even in the knowledge of their impending doom.  He hair whipped around her face.  She was beautiful.  He ached to tell her - to let all the things he had been holding in for months (years) tumble out. 

_I love you, I want you, there’s no one else I’d rather be standing here with._  

He wouldn’t though.  He couldn’t.  It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right to put that on her at the end when there wasn’t a damn thing either of them could do about it.  

So instead he watched her as she watched the sky and let it burn inside of him.  Let it coil from the pit of his stomach and fill his bones with the fire that was loving Natasha Romanoff.  

His first death had been cold.  It had been white and blue - everything ice and water and numbing.  

His second death would be fire.  It would be the green of her eyes, the red of her hair - everything he adored and it would burn.


End file.
